it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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