Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
