i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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