God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
