last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
