Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
