hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize