you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
