All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
