i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
