omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
