I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
