ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
