Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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