some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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