While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
