i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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