girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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