help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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