Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Are we still banned from the library?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
