Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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