The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize