Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize