party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
