i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
