He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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