You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
