I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
