Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
