its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
