You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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