That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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