I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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