You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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