The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
