You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize