i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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