omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
