I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
