she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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