real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish life had little blips of pornography
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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