Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
