dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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