i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
