You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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