Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
