his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
