We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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