I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Floor bacon is actually really good
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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