High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
