were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
