Well apparently he's into motor boating.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
