grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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