You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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