At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
