so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
