I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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