am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
