Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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