She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
