No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i drank out of a bidet.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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